Shar Jason

When we suffer from what could be labeled as nihilism, we take a pessimistic viewpoint and believe there is no meaning to life. This is a natural phase we go through during awakening if we are prone to depression. When the separate self starts to see some of the truths of reality, it can have an inclination towards pessimism, seeing it as a bad thing that there’s no great mission or purpose for everyone to achieve.

The natural self-preservation instinct within the body gets co-opted by the illusory separate self. We unconsciously try to take control of our safety and survival, and as a result, feed the illusion of a separate somebody that has the ability to influence outcomes.

I would say pre-awakening is the first stage where you're just starting to find out about awakening, and so for me it was in my 20's. I really had no clue what awakening was, I'd never heard of it, and I started to get little seeds of enlightenment that were being planted.