• Shar Jason

Who is Worthy?

What is self worth? Who is the self that has value? Why do I need to have worth? These were some of the questions I was asking myself during my spiritual awakening. Trying to find self worth was part of my journey of letting go of the false self. I spent a lot of time in therapy building up my self esteem, finding a way to love myself, and learning about worth.

It's an interesting path, learning how to have self worth so you can go beyond the small self. Even when you realize that there is no separate self that can have value or worth, there's still the experience and journey of finding the inner worth, before the illusion of self-worth can be released.

When you have low self worth you unconsciously assume that you don't deserve healthy relationships, kindness, enjoyment or fulfilment. Instead of deeply knowing you deserve all the good things in life, you listen to what other people tell you, and allow them to shake your confidence and self-esteem. You become what people tell you you are, you fit in around everyone instead of knowing your value in the world, and standing true to who you are and how you contribute. You put up with abuse, toxicity, and emotional manipulation, because you don't realize you deserve anything better.

You may not even know that you have beliefs running regarding worth that are effecting your life. It can help to ask yourself questions such as "Am I worthy of being spoken to in a nice way? Am I worthy of a healthy relationship? Am I worthy of having strong boundaries? Am I worthy of love, kindness, empathy?"

If you have a belief such as "I am not worthy of a healthy romantic relationship" you will see the evidence in your life - your romantic relationships will be toxic. Life will give you what you believe you deserve.

When I was dealing with issues around self worth I would ask myself "What would someone with strong self worth do in this situation?" Would they put themselves first, would they say no, would they take this abuse, would they be swayed by another person's opinion?

The wounded child within you wants to know they are worthy of love. They want to know that they did nothing wrong, it's not their fault, they are not broken, they deserve a good life. The inner child wants to know that they're wanted in the world.

Through awakening and healing you build inner strength. You learn to stand on your own two feet and look within for everything you used to look outwards for, such as love and value. You stop being influenced by what is going on around you. You stand strong in the knowing that you have value, that you're meant to be in this incarnation, and that you have a lot to contribute. Then you can go beyond self-worth and see that there was never any separate "me" there to have value. It was just a beautiful but painful journey of finding self-worth, so you could go beyond it.