• Shar Jason

Breaking Free of Unworthiness

It's an interesting path, finding self worth so you can go beyond the small self. Even when you realize that there is no separate person there to have value or worth, there's still the experience and journey of finding the inner worth, before the illusion of self-worth can be released.

When you have low self-worth you unconsciously assume that you don't deserve healthy relationships, kindness, enjoyment or fulfilment. Instead of deeply knowing you deserve all the good things in life, you allow others to shake your confidence and self-esteem. You become what people tell you you are, fitting in around everyone else. You put up with abuse, toxicity, and emotional manipulation, because you don't realize you deserve anything better.

You may not even know that you have beliefs running regarding worth that are affecting your life. It can help to ask questions such as "Am I worthy of being spoken to in a nice way? Am I worthy of a healthy relationship? Am I worthy of having strong boundaries? Am I worthy of love, kindness, empathy?"

If you have a belief such as "I am not worthy of a healthy romantic relationship" you will often see the evidence in your life - your romantic relationships will be toxic. Your internal state including unconscious beliefs are manifested into the World, mirroring to you what needs to be healed.

When trying to navigate the world with a low sense of worth I would find it helpful to ask myself, "What would someone with strong self worth do in this situation? Would they put themselves first, would they say no, would they take this abuse, would they be swayed by this person's opinion?"

The wounded child within you wants to know they are worthy of love. They want to know that they did nothing wrong, it's not their fault, they are not broken, and they deserve a good life. The inner child wants to know that they're wanted in the world. This is where a good healer or therapist can help - to integrate the wounded child parts.

Through awakening and healing you build inner strength. You learn that you don't need anyone else and you stop being influenced by what is going on around you. Then you can go beyond self-worth and see that there was never any separate "me" there to have value. It was just a beautiful but painful journey of finding self-worth, so you could go beyond it.